1. Encourage remembrances of wonderful memories: Old photos, family movies and old-time music through photos, family videos and music from yesteryear. Stimulate memories to encourage our elders to share their remembrances.

2. Plan ahead. To encourage participation for the senior, plan ahead so that you have someone rested to have the stamina to enjoy the planned activities, party, etc.

3. Create a senior friendly environment: If you plan on taking your loved one out to celebrate at another person’s home, then be aware that this environment needs to be a safe one for the senior. For instance, remove accent rugs that could lead to a fall.

4. Be a good listener, take clues from them. Comment as appropriately as you can, as this can be a sensitive time.

5. Create new traditions. We all need something to look forward to. As our elders age, they may have lost old-time friends and dear family.
Family may be scattered, not able to come home at holiday time.

6. Encourage them to give. Increase their self worth by giving of themselves or providing gifts for others. Sharing their memories or cherished keepsakes with people close to them may provide a true joy.

7. Be thoughtful and include the senior. They are most likely lonely, which can lead to depression and resentment. They have many years of suggestions they will gladly pass on for others. Involve a senior center, religious place of worship or other senior venue to “reach out and touch another someone, someone who may not have family of their own”.

8. Find new modes of entertainment to stay active minded. Activities for the holiday season are important. Keep your senior cognitively busy. Beat the “Holiday blues” and “Depression.

9. Maintain a happy environment. Maintain brightness in these special festive days, despite the sense of loss they may have of loved ones who are no longer here to partake of the holiday with them.

10. Monitor medications and alcohol. Be aware of their alcohol intake during the holidays at gatherings or in the privacy of their own home. You don’t want the alcohol to interfere with medications.

Give the gift a senior most wants! Time, companionship and visits from their friends and loved ones will be their most treasured gift. Seniors will typically relish the seasonal gatherings. This is the time to have patience, have compassion, and provide a safe and wonderful new memory, for them to reflect back on throughout the coming year.

Accent on Seniors, A FREE State Licensed Senior Living Referral Service, providing personalized information about senior living throughout California. Call 888-954-6637 to obtain a detailed listing of places for your loved ones and friend or go onto the website at www.AccentOnSeniors.com.

Copyright © 2008, Accent on Seniors Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in any form or by any means, including electronic or mechanical is not permitted.

As Christian single women and men dreading yet another holiday season alone, you’re probably struggling or thinking about:

* Where you’re going to spend the holidays to avoid loneliness

* How unfair it is that another Christmas is coming, and you’re still single

* What you’re gonna tell or do to those relatives who ask you again why you’re not yet married.

Holiday Do’s and Don’ts for Singles

As you reflect upon how to approach the holidays this season, it’s important to celebrate in a way you feel comfortable as a single person. As you begin to see all the commercialism, decorations and hype, let the following holiday do’s and dont’s guide you:

Holiday Do’s for Singles

Focus on the birth of our dear Lord and Saviour, Jesus, as the focal point of your holiday. Not to employ an overused cliche, but He is, after all, the Reason for the season.

Do remember that as a single you have the same need and right to enjoy this holiday season as any other couple or family does. So if you want to decorate your home or apartment, do it up good! How you choose to spend the holidays is your personal choice, not that of those around you. Before being cajoled by friends and family members to attend this event or that party, ask yourself if this is really what you want to do. Will it make you feel more lonely and depressed? Will it bring others AND you some measure of joy?

As a single Christian, set level expectations for the holidays. Have fun in the way you see fit, but don’t allow the world to pressure you into unrealistic expectations of what the holiday time should bring. That way, if things don’t go that way, there will be less disappointment and hurt.

Jesus said “it’s more blessed to give than to receive.” So, make this Christmas a time of service to others instead of focusing on your own needs and wants as a single person. Doing things such as feeding the poor or visiting the sick will not only help you put the holidays into their proper perspective, it will cause your spirits to soar! We guarantee it.

If you have not already done so, find a Christian singles group or church in your area where you can find and give support to other singles during the holidays. If you’re not part of any group, why not throw a holiday bash for other single friends you know?

Make sure to count every blessing the Lord has granted to you during the past year.

Holiday Don’ts for Singles

Avoid using too much alcohol (Ephesians 5:18) to cope with holiday stress because this tends to make one depressed.

As singles, we tend to overbook ourselves to the point of exhaustion. Make sure you don’t do this this holiday season, but give yourself plenty of down time to relax and rest. Fatique can lead to negative thought patterns.

Don’t spend all your holiday time with family members and other couples, but split the time to be with your single friends as well. This will help you keep a more positive perspective while enjoying everybody’s company

Overall, however you choose to celebrate the Christmas or New Year Holidays, remember to be safe, trust in God’s promises for your future (Jeremiah 29:11) and have fun! Happy Holidays!

Most experts agree that anticipation of a holiday and what is expected is almost always worse than actually experiencing the day. There are many unrealistic expectations at holiday time.

In any event, here are 10 things you can do, that have been used by others through the years, which will help you deal with your grief and reduce unnecessary suffering.

1. Structure your day. Plan. Plan. Plan. Make a schedule of what you will do each hour of the day and be committed to following it. Decide before hand what you can and cannot do on that day. Make a “to do” list and a “not to do” list. Talk about both with your family members. You do not have to follow what was done on previous holidays.

2. Have a back-up plan. If things go wrong and you are unable to follow the schedule you had prepared at a given time during the day, substitute an alternative activity. Let’s say you cannot stay at dinner as long as you had originally planned. Then be sure you have someone and something else to do (another place to go) so you can remove yourself from the highly stressful situation.

3. Simplify. You do not have to do all the work of sending cards, buying presents, and decorating if it does not feel right for you. It is likely you won’t have the energy to begin with. Cancel this part of the holiday. Or shorten your list or decide not to send cards. Send money or shop through the internet. Instead of a Christmas tree, simply decorate with pine boughs or small ornaments.

4. Decide on a way to symbolize the presence of your loved one. It could be by lighting a candle, placing his/her picture in a special place, making his/her favorite dessert, telling a favorite story, or setting a place at table. It is okay to reminisce about past holidays with him or her. Celebrate his/her life and what has enriched yours by your relationship with the beloved.

5. Buy a gift for yourself (from your loved one) and another for your loved one. Then decide to give the gift for your loved one to someone who would benefit from it. Make helping others one of your New Year resolutions to honor his/her memory. Focus on this thought throughout the holiday season.

6. Allow yourself to express your feelings as they arise. Don’t resist. Let grief move through you in a natural way. It’s okay to cry and feel sad. Crying is coping. If you feel especially sad, call someone you trust to talk to. Picking the right person and asking if you can call them “just in case,” is part of your back-up plan. Ask for assistance. Don’t expect friends to automatically know what you need.

7. Take time just for yourself to do something that is pleasing to you—and don’t feel guilty about doing so. Do this every day of the season. Eat a special food. Get a massage. Take a bubble bath. Visit a nearby park or beautiful scenery. But remember, don’t isolate yourself. You need your own time, but don’t over do it.

8. Be sure to exercise. This is a commonly overlooked but extremely profitable way to change feelings and emotion. Walk, ride a bicycle or engage in your usual exercise pattern. We all need physical outlets for the emotional stressors of the day. Accept the fact that the absence of your loved one on a special day is bound to cause pain. But you can use exercise as a counterbalance.

9. Deal with your feelings by periodically asking yourself where you are in your inner life at the moment. Are you overwhelmed, fearful, angry, and lonely or are you experiencing a moment of joy. Once you have identified your emotional state, follow up with examining options for dealing with your state of mind. Do you need to be with someone or go somewhere or say something to yourself? Your encouraging self-talk can be important here.

10. Combine these two survival skills when you start to feel you are going in a downward spiral: take action and refocus your attention. These two critical skills are essential for all of us for the rest of our lives. When you make your holiday plan, list a number of activities you can do when you need to change the sadness and prevent slipping into a depressive state.

Decide on the immediate action you can take to combat too much distress: get up and do something, walk around the house, pray, repeat a mantra, “Google” the word grief. Find a way to change your thought pattern. It will work for you, if you consistently go for it.

You can get through this holiday season, or any day that you feel is a special day involving your loved one. Three things will guarantee your success: make the commitment (“I will get through this”), be determined (“If I fall down, I will get back up”), and persist over time (remember it’s like an endurance race). There is no right or wrong way to deal with the holidays. There is only your way.

* The Balearic Islands: Located in the Mediterranean Sea; Mallorca, Menorca, Ibiza and Formentera are the four largest islands that make up the Balearic Island archipelago. Mallorca is the largest and most popular of the islands, with Menorca a close second on yearly tourism charts. Mallorca and Menorca offer a great deal of hospitality to families, and most restaurants enjoy catering to younger children. Many resorts and hotels on the islands offer programs and clubs to help keep children entertained while parents enjoy the sun and relaxation they deserve.
* The Canary Islands: Located in the North Atlantic Ocean just north of north-western Africa, seven large islands, one small island and several islets comprise the Canary Islands. The most popular of the Canaries are Gran Canaria, Tenerife and Lanzarote. The islands are volcanic in origin and offer a very unique holiday experience.
* Madrid: As the capital of Spain, Madrid has a lot to offer families. It is a city of cultural, political and economic importance. Most major Spanish companies, as well as three of the world’s top 100 companies have headquarters in Madrid. The city offers some of the largest libraries, museums, galleries and parks in Spain. Historic landmarks help pinpoint architecture and points of historic interest.
* Barcelona: As home of the 1982 Football World Cup, 1992 Summer Olympics, X FINA World Championships and many other world famous sporting events, Barcelona is a city well-known for sports. Barcelona, like many other parts of Spain, has a rich culture and history. The Port of Barcelona has a history of great commercial importance that stretches back as far as 2,000 years. The city’s architecture, both old and new, helps tell the story of the city better than any history book.
* Other destinations in Spain: Tourism research shows that most people who plan Spanish holidays visit Granada, Cordoba, Seville, Salamanca, Valencia and Bilbao. All offer an authentic Spanish experience.
Preparing Children for Holidays
Planning your holiday should be almost as fun as the holiday itself. Keep in mind that children are more easily distracted than adults. They are also often more easily bored than adults. With this in mind, the bus or ship tour you are anticipating may not be as highly anticipated by your child or teenager. Make sure your less-than-interested child or teen takes something along to keep them occupied during the less exciting parts of the trip. This can be anything from coloring books to hand held video games.
Prepare for all types of weather. You may have the perfect beach vacation in mind. Mother Nature may have something entirely different in store for you.
Prepare the family for cooler-than-expected weather, rain or even hotter-than-expected weather. When packing, be sure not to put all of your clothing in one suitcase. Take a carry-on with necessities for a day in case your luggage doesn’t arrive on time. Pack any medications you or your family require in your carry-on. If you’re traveling with smaller children, pack some interesting toys or coloring materials in a small carry-on for them.
Negotiate your agenda! The best part about a family holiday is time spent together as a family. Involve your children of all ages in every aspect of trip planning. Just as you have specific destinations you’d like to visit, they may too. Have your children make a list of things they would like to do during holiday.
Their input could help add an air of excitement and adventure to your holiday.